In case you hit the sack early on Wednesday night, or just didn’t have the stomach to watch the Republican canned speech event debate, here’s a quick recap for your weekend cocktail party discussion pleasure:

Newt Gingrich — You kids get off my lawn!

Rick Perry — Texas: The Death Penalty State.  What’s It to Ya?

Michele Bachmann — Why aren’t they asking me any questions?  And did I mention I have 28 kids?

Howard Cain –If 10% is good enough for God, 9% is good enough for Uncle Sam.

Mitt Romney — How did I get here?

Ron Paul — There’s nothing in the Constitution about feeding kids.  If those first graders are hungry, they should get a job.

Jon Huntsman — I don’t understand why I’m losing to the one with the ’70s hair and and that George W. Bush wanna-be.

Rick Santorum —  Did someone say “Man Date?”

Brian Williams — Ronald Reagan is running again?

Sarah Palin — Heh.  My evil plot is working.

America — We’re saving our votes for The X Factor.

Image via the Christian Science Monitor